Well its been so long i have not written and well many things
are about to change. And its a drastic super fast changes thats
coming my way.. Kind of in rush now..

U41

18 June 2009 around 1630hrs plus, as usual i had boarded U41 bus
from Sugnai Long to come to my work. It was almost empty as usual.
I took my seat at the usual spot at the handicap seat. (As for the interior
seat arrangement, from the enterance of the bus to the exit the passanger
seat is facing each other at the side. From the exit to the back end the
seat is faced front.) The one reason why i take this seat is because the
air-con is cooler at this particular spot, i dont really know the reason
but i observed it. And at the back, it gets hotter cause of the engin and
i dont think the bus is serviced on time. By mid way through the journey
the bus at the back will be like SONA room due to the packed passenger
and its in the late afternoon. And the bus will be so packed that movement
is little among the passenger and more will board even if its packed cause
the waiting for the next bus takes almost half hour or one.. never knows.
Some times i wonder what if there was a causalty.. this scares me.. And
from my previous experience, i gave up my seat to an elderly passenger
and instead my wallet was pick-pocketed. 2 weeks later my phone
followed as well. I never thought i would face such situation. But it was
very frustration.
Well back to my story, as i sat down i cooled myself using my t-shirt
which i was wearing. By doing so i scanned the bus and there was like
less than 10 passenger. I noticed one particular passenger who was seating
at the front seat after the exit door and i was seated at the last from the
entrance. To look at her i had to slightly turn my head and for her she just
need to turn her eye ball.. Actually from her position and mine it was in a
45* angle. She was eating some fried kuay and i observed her. She had a
sweet face, not so pretty and pretty as well.(i mean everyone of us has a
defination of beauty.. thats why they say beauty lies in the eye of the
beholder.) I maen she looked nice. She was wearing a pink t-shirt ithink..
jeans and pink shoe.. nice combination..Hair was shoulder length and neat.
Her eyes not to big not to small, just perfect. I guess her eyes was the
sweetest of all. Pinkish lips, i could tell she was not wearing
makeup like some other girls.. I mean i have no offence but i prefer natural.
From my observation she might be below 25 and above 16years. Normal
figure and fair skin. She had a bag on her lap and some plastic bags of goods
on the floor. As she ate i stole a glimpse of her. Later on she must have
realised and she looked back. I mean not really turn and directly look but
instead she just turned her eye ball. And every now and than i glimpsed
her and she did it back.. Think it was pure innocence.. I kept wanting
to look at her so i stole glimpse after glimpse and so did she. Finally the
bus moved and i tried to take my concentration away from her by looking
in the front or watching the mobile T.V. But i could not and kept stealing.
After some time as i was almost forgetting her, when the bus was filled with
fresh smell of burger. I mean the mayonese aroma was so strong that i turn
back to see who was having the burger. I can say i got hungry too. There
was this 2 girls who were sitting just behind her. I took this opportunity
and looked at them unrap the burger and they ate. In between i stole her
glimpse. It felt wonderful, but she did turn her eye ball for sure. As the
bus was moving i had lots of thoughts going on in my mind like i am a
foreigner and i dont even have one'C' not mentioning 5'C'. With this thought
i thought of my problems and tried to concentrate in other things. But i could
not and i kept stealing glimpse and so did she. At one point, think a Bangla
boarded the bus and he sat directly opposite me. He was neatly dressed
except that one of the button of his shirt was missing and his belly could
be seen as it was a tight fitting. This caused me to laugh, i mean it was a
funny incident. I tried to hide my emotion from him and the back. By now
the bus was getting packed as new passenger boarded from new spots. Her
view was disappearing and i had to look down the passenger legs apart to
see if she was still there. Sometimes when the passenger jerked i got to see
her for a short while. I waited for this and saw her. The train station was
approaching, i was thinking she might alight. I was thinking i might as well
alight and start a conversation. I will pretend to be a HIP and get her
information. But she did not alight. And so begain, i waited for the bus to
jerk and this caused the passenger to jerk and i got to see her view for a while.
This went on and on until i gave up my seat before my destination. I wanted
to look at her. My destination arrived and i half-heartedly moved to the exit.
I looked at her and she was looking at me too.. Those eyes, as i alighted kept
me thinking. I tried to walk a bit fast so as to overpass the bus to get to see
her. But the bus surplus me. I ran across the road desperately but the bus
was gone. And she was gone too. As i walked, i knew i would never see her
again. When i close my eyes, her image appears and especially her eyes. And
i for sure as time passes by her image will disappear from my mind and life
will be normal again. I wish i had done something about it, but i was just too
scared of the outcome and i did not have the confidence. Than again i wish
her the best of life thats comes along her. I also hope i could see her again
but what are the chances. Any way it made my stay here a special one to
remember although the rest was not a good one. This experience just took
my breath away and i just dont know when and how it comes by. It was so
suddenly. Describing it is so difficult thats why i am writing this in the
memory of you..SPECIAL ONE

Well i just took 2 cigreat and my credit is rm4.5 and am puffing and walking
towards my.......

OUR DREAM

I HAD A DREAM. EVERYONE HAS A DREAM. BUT MY

DREAM DASHED. SOME WILL ONLY GET THEIR DREAM.

SO DONT WORRY EVEN IF YOUR DREAM DOES NOT

COME TRUE. INSTEAD YOU ARE ALSO INVOLVED

IN MAKING OTHER PEOPLE DREAM COME TRUE.

MEANING YOUR DREA CAME TRUE IF ONLY YOU

UNDERSTAND LIFE. SO YOU MY FRIEND WE HAVE

TO THINK DIFFERENTLY TO UNDERSTAND

OURSELVES BETTER INSTEAD OF DROWNING IN

SORROW.

To a special friend of mine.. Life is something that we cant just
decide ourselves cause there are others who are more precious to
us. Some times we have to think for others to carry on the
journey of within. Happiness can be compromised, but some
choose their destiny. This are the strong ones who needs our
affection. I wish i was one of them but i have to think for others
too. This is what lack me. I cant blame nor complain but to
accept it with embrace like an adult. Not every ones life a fairy
tale and we have to accept it like whats been happenning from
the past till the present. All we have to do is to accept our fate
and create a new generation to carry on. Love is something we
experience in our lifetime.. maybe once or multiple.. But love
alone cant move us forward. But living each and every day that
makes us better than the great Romeo & Juliet or other iconic
figure. They are just a lesson for us. But those who live till their
times are the ones that gives a good example of mankind. What i
can say is that we human are strange that evolves in this world
and always trying to find new meaning in our life. With this i
would like to say 'live your life and cherish it in whatever
possible way weather you are up or down and never feel you
are alone. This same experience is faced by everyone in their life
With this let live... 2015hrs March 15 2009..