It just turned 0000hrs and i am so fresh as i had a nap in
the late evening. I had finished the 1/3 of the wiskey
left from yesterday. Here i can feel having resporatory
problem as i try to expend my tummy. Too much
wisky and cigaret. Always the same excuse for me as
i realise this is what life ment for me. So for today did
nothing much as i wasted the day surfing and drinking.
Today's Valentine's Day and i feel happy listening to my
song 'Heey meri Gaaulae'. I have been having this thought
of whats the best to live my life since i am a unilateral
hearing impaired person. Life has been lonely for me as
i am starting to realise i am becoming more dumb as i
grow older. Which was supposed to be opposite. Since
i cant have a decent conversation i am lost in
communication and very deeply lost in my thought. How
can i change.. Its impossible.. I tried to get a hobby but
there is communication  involved. Fuck.. really hate it..
But i am still in sanity and thanks to this note book i am
still ok and keeps me company. Dont know what i would
have done if it was not with me. I am thankful i am still
ok. And one of the good things that i am likely,hopefully,
positively, will do is to cut down on the cigaret and
wiskey..I have to try and must i will cause i want more
wisdom. The most important thing i would love is i
want to have afamily. This i must and i need to plan for
my vacation and..........

0012hrs and 14/02/12