Last night was too much thinking and too difficult
to fall asleep. All the thiking which is relavent for
the coming times and decision making. Its good
to think but not the right time to think when i am
about to sleep. Luckily i managed to fall asleep
maybe around 2 or 3am. 
943hrs of 7th Dec 2011. Finally my work starts
in the afternoon at 3pm. I went to take my 
breakfast and bought chicken and tomatoes,
chilli, garlic. Want to cook lunch before i go
to work. The 3 days that i was off, did not cook
rice. Just had noodle or went to my sis house.
And here today i want to cook before i go to
work. 

Now days i have closed the curtain of my windows 
as my sight is irreating me. Maybe cause of the 
light form outside is cause it as i am surfing directly
on the screen and the light from the window is
coming to my eye. Now my room is dark and the 
only drightness is from my laptop. 

I have cooked the daal. Just have to boil the beans
till its cooked. Should take around 1 hours. And 
i have put the chicken on the pan to defreeze it.
Cant get fresh chicken only frozen. Later on i
am going to prepare the ingrident before i cook
the chicken.

Emirates NBD just called me to change my account
particular as they have difficulty sending me e-mail.
Ya... my ID is wwwsumaurai, which was supposed 
to be wwwsumanrai. This idiot emirati girl who was
filling up the form for me when i first applied for 
NBD account had made a mistake or purposely
made the mistake. You know how this people are
who feel they are superior and look down on people.
Because of this idiot i have to re-make my e-account.
Dont know when i will go and make, as the bank are
busy finallysing the end of year acclount. I feel lazy
to go. Maybe tomorrow.

Just went to check Daal. The water has lessened and
i heated the kettle and after that top up the water in
the daal. Want the daal to cook longer for better
taste. Just 2 days back i had cooked daal and as
usual i heated the daal with water. Than went to
surf. While surfing, i had opened my luggage and
was checking my secondary classmate photo. And
with that i checked out if i could find my friends
from facebook. Tried a few names but could not
find them as the names are popular and too many
.. you know what i mean. Finally i found K/Kesavan
and i added him as friend. See i was so busy
surfing that i forgot about my daal. I rushed to the
kitchen and there it was totally disaster, The daal
had dried and burned. Shit there goes my daal and
i ended up having noodle. Too much MSG. Not
good for the health. This is what happens when i
am too busy to notice anything. But today i cant
let my guard down. Today i will have my daal
no matter what. Chicken will also be in the menu.

As of today i had 1 cigaret from the balance of
yesterday. 31 cigaret was smoked the whole day
yeasterday. Fucking dumb aint i. Shit stupidity.
And by now i had smoked 2 stick so far and i
have 1 more stick left that i had bought just now.

Now is 1017hrs. Need to go check the daal.
Decreased the heater for the daal and changed
the water for the chicken. I might cut the chicken
or  better still prepare the ingrident first...

2341hrs
6th Dec...

A few minute to 7th dec. And i cant sleep cause when i
think about marriage. I have nothing and i am not good
in relationship. It scary and i cant sleep at all. There is
so much i have to do once i am a husband. I try to
think i will go with the flow but its not so easy as it
sounds. Damn i am going crazy. Like i have to leave
to work outside. And when i was younger i told myself
i will be with her. Man this is not so easy....Called
Ricardo for drink but tells me out of stock and only
thing i have is my guitar. Guess i will play the song
that i composed the whole day to comfort myself.
The whole day was depressing and in the evening
was a disaster. Had told myself i will not smoke or
smoke less and i finished like 27 stick thewhole day.
Shit whats happenning to me, am like a smoke
machine. This is really danger of me. May be i was
alone the whole day too. Marriage is scary but i
have to no matter what get married next year. I just
cant avoide always. I have to  and i have to.
2354hrs and this is all and going to play guiter and
eat snack that munna bought for me. Before i sleep