1841hrs
28th November 2011

Well its evening and my off was fucking wasted.
Did nothing but just wasted my day and here i am
just got a bottle and just had my first sip. I had
told myself no more but its useless. A whole day
was a hell but now i am going to be in heaven.
Surfing some japanese chicks and listening to
music. Makes it even better. How i wish i was not
here but instead in Malaysia... even if it meant that
i would have died there. What wasted time was that
i got this fucking good idea and i wasted it without
a fight. I would had earned my money but i wasted
it and fucking shit i went back. All that shit time
and thinking just went down the toilet bowl. Why
i dont know why i was so addicted to gambling.
Still now i dont know why. Is it cause it is
addictive or was it that i did not had a life. Which
is which i still dont know and i dont know what i 
am doing now. All my life from 17 till 31 what
the hell was i doing. Or was it cause i did not have
a life or was i looking on the wrong side of lane.
Even if it is i told myself i will walk on the right
side of the lane when i left home to here
but whats the fucking point
here i realise i was one sided deaf and this was
what had caused me to be soo stupid and isolated.
And the best part i am sick of myself and just
struggling to live cause my existence is important
for my love ones. |For how long i dont know but
sometimes i just feel thats it time to fuck off
from this place than to struggle. Maybe this is
the answer. Fuck career fuck friends fuck
everything... I just got to bring myself to be
happy and find the right place. May be i should
leave. Why stay when i am not happy and why
anyways my sibling are old enough. They can
take care of themselves. Hipppiiiooo i got the
answer... let me wait and see for another month.
I dont care if i become poor or a begger as long
i am happy thats it... One more month...

Its simple and i wasted my fucking time for
nothing...

Listening to Rick Astley songs. Reminds me of
the time when i was primary 6N. I was crazy in
love with Chai Hui Ping... Hnag on it not love,
its i had a crush on her. Haha.. Cant believe i
am having the same stupid crush till now...
But this time i really want to get married and
have a kid. I want to be a good father thats why
i cant just go crazy here. I want to be strong so
that i will give my best for my kids in the future.
I have to be smart and i can be. Dont want to
worry about this fucking ear.

Still surfing chicks cause i am a man and i aint
gay.. Hahha...

Gonna change my blog add to another add...

1433hrs
28th Nov 2011

Just had an hour of nap as i felt too bored. Today
is my off and its part of the day thats i like to
do. Woke up in the morning and got bread and
coffee from the shop and even the morning pack
from the housing office. For lunch just cooked
lunch and had pork that my room mate had
cooked yesterday. After which was surfing and
got my lunch from the housing and not forgetting
bought my cigarette. Here i am now blogging.

Its good to be controlling my smoke as i had
only 2 stick from 9am. Feeling good and feeling
too cold. Going to off the AC,..

Been checking my account but the money not
deposited yet and i guess i have to wait for it.

Tomorrow's my last morning shift and after
which i am afternoon. I guess i will miss
morning and i have to accept that.

Sometimes the little things that we have are the
best part of our life. Cause if we go too fast
than we have to be fast and thats why i am
satisfied by the little things. As i am slow.

Having green tea. ONe of the good health
drink.

I just clicked and this song ''Gives you Hell"
OHhhhhhhhh gives me memory of Malaysia.
Remember the time when i used to sing in the
place and wrote the lyric in my book and sang
along the song. Man i am activeeee caompared
to before. I cant believe i was that person and
all the things that i did. Oh that memory and
i am very happy now. Ha ha....

Well i guess life here is so boring and i guess
i have to say its better casue the danger i used
to live passed by without being in danger. I
guess i was extremely lucky to have passed it.
I have keep it aside and use that experience to
make me better in my life.

And i guess i have to change back to
sumanraistoryforyou cause thats the original
of me and the starting of my blog.

Any way thats it...