time is 0326 and its 29th April 2011..

April is ending and May round the corner and wow..
How things moves and i am very fresh cause i came
back from gym and i am very focused and its a good
thing. Wish it was like this every day but it aint
a fairy tale. Have to cherish and hope for it and hope
it happens more often. Just made myself a noodle
cause need to feed my tummy cause without it
my brain will not work and my life might stop.
Its a chain cycle and its good. Just had it and it
tastes sooo fantastic.

Any way salery came and its 2562. Maybe the last 2
digit is not so precise cause i cant access my account
cause its blocked cause i wanted to try to add a icon
for phone credit access. But i couldnt remember my
security question and it jammed my account. Tried
to call the bank but half way it ended cause my credit
ran out. Well i can only access it tomorrow when i
top up credit and call again. But for the first 2 number is
absolutely correct.

My noodle is almost finished and i can feel that its
not enough for my tummy and i might cook one more.
Ya i will cook now.

I am back and my noodle is ready.. Just need to mix the
noodle and the ingrident.
The noodle that i am having is Indo Mei-Fried noodle
Mee Georang.
The good thing about is that 'Its fast to cook and good
to eat'. A famous 'Maggie Mee' Quato.
Any way enjoying it.

I was supposed to be studying about my A/C theory..
But here i am..

Well this is for today and i will be logging off from
this.

the time 1343 and date 26-04-11

Life is going on and i had nightmare yesterday and
i am a bit scared of the dream i had.
And i  am trying to live a better place.
Bye for now.

24th April 20111...

Well i am a new man and i live a strong person.
New mission and a better life.
too much things to achieve.
So i move.

Well i left for the beach after work. And i threw it  away
the feeling for her cause i know it wont work. I will
only hurt you more when you are with me. I realise i cant
love you cause i am almost damaged. I realise it so
late that i am miserable and i cant do anything about.
Wish i could leave this place. May be i can using other
alternative. Later need Royal Stag. And it will be.
Nothing more to write except... 

1334hrs

I have like 20 more minutes to leave for work. Kind
of feeling bored and lazy. Not much improvement
at work. I try hard but lazyness and habitual is lacking
my way. ok i dont feel like writing anymore.

1336 and getting ready to leave for work.

New day to start with and looking forward to better.
Well i know it will come back to the same thing.
Least i am playing my part.. ha ha

Very fresh and it a sunny afternoon to begain the
day with. Thinking of nothing much and thats it
for the day,

17th April 2011
0309 hrs

Cant sleep, got up and had my shower and now surfing.
Well life seems too impossible to adapt. But i will
keep trying and i need more inspiration and a positive
attitude. I hope i will move on and on. The music is
kind of nice and making me up.

Life is going on and few days back i downloaded my
voice journal and kind of made me smile and stupid.
Same things repeated every day and the silly things
i did. Was a memory and i have come this far and i
dont know if i have changed at all. I feel as if back
than was better than now cause i feel as if this time
is worse off than that time. Always in trouble than
now as if i have no life at all. Only thing is i now
know who i am and why was i unique. But i cant
change a thing about it. Too depressing and
frustration. Lets see how far can i go on.

Ok so when i was sleeping and i was trying to think
of a paradise of greenary. Trees, grasses, animal and
all other nature. I was trying to put my self at that
location and live the moment. But the mind so
messed up that it wondered to other area. Tried
hard but no success and instead 4 Roya stag appeared.
Later i thought what could it be releating. And i assume
since i am not fincally able and cant return back or move
on to other area the only way for me to calm was the
4 Royal Stag. Am accepting it and lets see what happens
cause now its 324hrs and if i can make it in the morning
i will go and get it. My only friend for my life cause
only it understand it. Although it ruins my health it
really makes me happy. I dont care what tomorrow may
come i live for the moment. Cause for tomorrow to
come you have to live for the moment.


I guess i ought to log off for now... i will leave for the
other days to write and while i will surf for relexation.

Now 905am and i am all set to go to the city to get my
energy drink. Its a necessaty for a man like me. Have
not slept from yesterday and its going to be like 24hrs
if i come back on time. And hopefully i am going to
sleep than. I am happy and life goes on and i feel very
positive and looking towards for the days of my chapter
of my role play in an everyday life. Smells fresh and
ohhhhhh.. Its going to be a toxicating for the next 2 days..
ha ha.. singing too... and not forgetting cooking..
got to go..

12th was gone and 13th

Today was Benidicto Junior and Thia farewell and
i am sure very happy for them espically B.J. I am
proud and wish i had said something but i was not.
Well i guess i am dumb and useless. Ok no regrats,
least i was there cause no use regretting. i will cherish
the time we worked and it was one of my happiest
time that i had enjoyed my time. Best of wishes to you
and so long...

My verdict...
I am ok..
I just need my 3 Royal Stag...
Need to enjoy..
Than work hard...
Life has a road map..
Need to find it or make it..
Good night..

336am
I think what am i?
Why?
What must i do the wrong thing every time.
I know i hurt you even deeper.
Thought it was better for the both of us.
Than i come back and i really hate myself.
It would have been better if i could have
put a smile on your face.
You dont deserve this and so do i.
I could have changed and you could have
been my angle.
Even devil need affection and so do i.
So what do i do next??
Should i start a different approach cause
everyone is ment for someone.
You would have accepted it too.
Cause we are suffering in silence and
i am not doing much.


I will try one more time to take your
heart and if it does not work..
I know it will work cause you are
very hurt i can feel it cause i am
getting messages,,, like my finger got
hurt and its just not a finger, its the one whose
veins is closest to the heart.
Will try to put a smile on later and i know i can.
Cause we are ment to be together......


Good luck to me and please dont do something
carzy cause you are a strong lady.

5th April 2011..

I am flying... i am listening to music by Rod Steward songs.
Its not that i am particularily listening to it, it just appeared
from the bunch of songs that i am playing. Now i just forward
it and the next is 'November rain'. Dont think i need to mention
artist cause its a classic and one of the best of the 80's. Ok..
So here i am todays my off and i am trying to make it as
meaningful as i can cause i was almost insane yesterday cause
sometimes it happens and i guess my faith saved me from it.
And i am happy that i am not going to the city to buy 'poison'.
I mean alcohal for the fact. Its good thing that i am trying to
change cause.. Well lets see for this section. Cause action
speaks louder than words.
|Its almost 1014am and i am feeling hungry.. need to do some
sopping.. so gonna log off for now.