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24012007
20:24PM

I CANT STAY HERE FOR LONG. UNLESS MY HEART CHANGES. I HOPE IT CHANGES FOR BETTER. I AM A FUCKING SICK PERSON. AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I AM SICK AND I AM REALLY SICK. I HATE MYSELF AND I WOULD RATHER DIE THAN LIVE. I CANT EVEN HOLD A SINGLE STICK. BUT MAYBE THERE IS A REASON TO IT. BUT WILL I BE ABLE TO TOLERATE THE SIGHT, WHICH I WILL BE SEEING FOR 3 YEARS. I WILL ONLY BECOME WEAK. I HAVE TO PLAN TO LEAVE THIS PLACE TO RELEAVE MYSELF FROM THIS MISERY. I KNOW I CAN BUT HOW CAN I WHEN IT IS SO CLOSE, YET WHO WOULDNT ACCEPTS ME BECAUSE OF MY STUIPED MISTAKE, CANT BLAME IT BECAUSE I AM TO BLAME. I CANT FORCE IT SINCE IT HAS ALREADY MADE UP ITS MIND, NOT LIKE MINE WHICH CANT EVEN DECIDE. I AM TO BLAME FOR ALL THIS FUCKING MESS. I AM THE ONE WHO SHOULD BE PUNISHED NOT HER. I AM SCARED THAT I MIGHT GO CRAZY OVER THIS ISSUE. BUT I AM STRONG, I WILL TOLERATE. ITS HAPPYNESS IS MY HAPPYNESS IF ONLY IT WAS FAR APART. BUT IT IS SO CLOSE. I AM TO BLAME FOR ALL THIS HURT. IF ONLY I WAS MORE DECEISIVE AND POSITIVE ABOUT IT. I AM REALLY SORRY ####. I CAUSED THIS PAIN TO YOU AND ME. PLAESE FORGIVE ME, AND I WILL DO THE SAME IF I CAN. BUT IF I CAN’T, I WILL PLAN, A PLAN TO VANISH AWAY FROM YOU SO YOU WOULDN’T FEEL THE SAME SUFFERING AS ME BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO STAY TILL THAN, BUT I CAN, SO I HAVE TO THINK WHAT IS BEST FOR BOTH OF US. I AM SORRY AGAIN ****. WISH THIS THING DIDN’T HAVE HAPPENED. AND I AM RELLY SORRY FOR THE HURT WHICH I HAVE CAUSED TO YOU AND I AM REALLY HURT DEEP INSIDE, BUT I WILL BE STRONG, CAUSE I REALLY RESPECT YOUR DECISION. WISH I COULD TURN BACK TIME AND CHANGED EVERYTHING, BUT I CANT AND I HAVE TO ACCEPT THE FACT.