THE DIARY

14TH Tuesday January 1952


My first day of high school! I am very excited and looking forward to meet new friends and to look forward to a new beginning. I woke early around 5am and took my shower, had my breakfast. At 6:30am I walked to my new school. As I started my journey, it was pretty dark and the only light was the moon coming from above. Finally I arrived at 7:45am at the school gate. KIV High School was the school I was enrolled, it was one of the top schools in town. And I was very fortunate to eligible into. I made my way to my class by asking around students. Finally I reached my mew class, and it was on the ground floor extreme to the end near the park. Once inside there was around 30 students all chatting out and trying to know each other better. Majority of them being boys and only a couple of girls were around. I gazed around to find myself a empty seat. Mostly were taken by the others, I scanned till I found an empty table. It was at the far left hand side and on the very front of the room. I had no choice but to take that seat. As I was about to put my bag on the table, there was a jeering noise coming from the boys. I don’t know why they jeered, but I didn’t bothered and ignored them and adjusted myself with the new seat. But one thing for sure was maybe because of the female student beside me, I didn’t make out her face as I was not interested in her and proceeded to adjust my allocated area. As I was arranging my area, I heard a voice “Good Morning Class”. Class started and we were to introduce our self to the whole class. As the introduction continued, there was 23 male student compared to 14 girls. Every one of us was from different Elementary school and had done well enough to be able to get into KIV High school. Well my day went pretty well; as class proceeded I couldn’t help but kept noticing Sakura. It is not that I want to look at her, but the teaching was the cause of it. As the teacher was teaching, I had to follow him. Due to the following, my sight always had to bypass Sakura. Every time my eyes pass by her I just have a chill and I don’t know why maybe she was a beauty. Canteen break was at 11am and I headed to the canteen. As I hadn’t made friend earlier, I asked Sakura to accompany me. She obliged and we went for break together. I found about her quite a bit and so did she. Finally around 3 classes were over and I decided to tour the school, Sakura tagged along me. After touring the school, we headed to the library. The rest of the time was spent in the library and we have same common things in mind. She loved novels just like I do, and searched for books to borrow. After some time, I borrowed a science fiction novel and so did she. She left earlier as I wanted to spend some time on the books.

Well it is almost 11pm and I am very sleepy have class at 8am tomorrow so I will be heading to bed once I pack for tomorrow class.


15th Wednesday January 1952


Well I am very tired now and class was a very stressful and I have just finished my homework after all the house chores. It is past 11pm, and I was about to sleep when I re-encounter of the day that took place in school. It was just normal class and lecture and class assignment. Just the normal class and I came back around 6pm. Sakura and I came back together as the journey was same until some district before we go separate ways. We chatted along the way and I find her more than a person like her character habit and one thing for sure, her voice was so sweet. The thing was that we clicked in our conversation. As we walked along, the walk was a bit slower compared to my own. Finally the path came where we had to go our separate ways and I bid her good bye.

Damn past 11pm already, need to sleep or else cant wake up on time tomorrow.


16th Thursday January 1952


Well not in the mood to write today. I am loosing my time as more work load was added in my assignment. I made many friends today. Just to name some, Dhak a very religious person kept talking about Jesus Christ and the good prospect of it. Dhurba another person just want to do well in class, and other guys like Harka Gurung, Chring Lama, Mohan, Karan, Kul, Rajendra, Kedar, Sensa, Mohan Lama, Chakra, Buddhi and Harka Raj Rai. Well this was some of the friends I have made in class today. But all had one thing in mind; they kept asking about Sakura, they asked if she was my girlfriend? I told them that we were just friends. Canteen break I headed with my new friends and so did Sakura. During the break, I felt uncomfortable and wondered how Sakura felt. I tried to catch where she was sitting, but couldn’t find her.

Well so much happened today and I have made so many friends. They are all different, but I think I am going to enjoy stay in KIV High School. Feeling very sleepy due to home work and the novel that I had borrowed, I prey for their well being of my new friend. And I hope I can continue to have good communication with my new friends, not forgetting Sakura.


18th Sunday January 1952


Finally Sunday, time 08:15am my recreational day. Mum called me to help in the house hold chorus early in the morning and finally I got the time to look at my diary. I read back the past days that I have written. It felt very refreshing or what ever it is that I am writing. I have made so many friends and I today I am playing football with my new classmates. We will be playing against Pralhad team at 5pm near the field. Heard his team is quite good. But it does not matter, as it’s just a game and some one has to loose anyway. Than again we can win.


Night


My leg bruised up because of the soccer game in the evening. But we won the game 2:1. I scored a perfect goal in the dying minute when Dhak passed a clever lop over the defense and I with out hesitant volleyed it past the keeper. I celebrated like crazy runningn the whole field with excitement so did my team mates. I will always remember this day, a perfect volley past the keeper. After the game ended we shook hand with our opponent and congratulate each other by saying “Fair Play”. We have agreed to play again some time soon.

Well tomorrow’s school and I haven’t prepared my books yet. Only 9pm I still have time, so maybe I will read my novel before I prepare for tomorrow.


21st Wednesday January 1952


Today I don’t know why but I am feeling lonely as Sakura didn’t come to school. And it’s been 3 days by now she’s been absent. I am a bit worried and decided to call Harka Gurung to accompany me to visit her. He agreed and after school around 1pm we headed to her house. Finally we reached her house after asking people of her house location. An old man outside was outside her house making basket using the remains of shruds. I presume he must be the grandfather as Sakura told me she had no parents and her grandfather was the only one next of kin. Sakura wasn’t any where near to be seen so I figured she must be inside the house. I knew her grandpa was a strict person and would not allow male stranger to meet her, so I asked Harka to watch guard and I will sneak in the house from the back. And if Grandpa was going to go in the house, I told Harka to make a sound to signal me the warning. As he kept watch, I sneaked at the back of the house and found the window open. I peeked in to see if the coast was clear. After every thing was ok I climbed in and searched for Sakura. As I was tip toeing the room I got the signal and I quickly hid me behind the door. I knew it would be grandpa and I knew he would find Sakura. Now I knew where she was. I waited for a while and expected Grandpa left the room after seeing her. Once he left I made my way to the room. I slowly opened the door and to my shock Sakura was laying in bed. She was sleeping. I whispered her name a few time until she realized it was me and replied “Oh Ken, it is you and what are you doing here” in a very weak voice. I quickly rushed to her to find out that she was sick. She looked very pale and she was sweating from the humid. I took out my handkerchief and wiped her face from the sweat. I was very sad and I couldn’t say much and asked what had happened. She told me she had caught the dengue fever and it was the 3rd day and she was recovering much batter than the previous day. To make her feel better, I made some jokes and told her how we missed her in class. After some time I wished her better and tip toed out before her grandpa notice me. I pray that she will be ok and attend school.


23rd Friday January 1952


Again today Sakura didn’t attend school and I am a bit worried. So I have decided to pay her a visit with her girl friends. I have asked Nina and Debra to company me to her house. In this way it will be much easier rather than me going myself. I hope she is fine and….


24th Saturday January 1952


I was already late 10 minute because I had plucked fruits from my field to give it to Sakura. Nina and Debra were waiting for me and we headed to Sakura house. Finally we arrived at her house and her grandpa was outside doing his work. We greeted him and asked him permission to see Sakura. At first he didn’t even bothered to listen or to reply back. After we kept pestering him, he told us to make it quick and not to make too much a mess. We thanked him and headed in. Once inside she was much better compared to the last time round. Now she could walk too. And she welcomed us in and had wanted to make tea for us. But we obliged, but she still went forward and Nina went to give her a hand. I was looking around her room, when I notice a book. It was some sort of a diary too. Inside she had written a lot, it was more like her past happening. As I was about to read, Debra told me not to mess with people property. I guess she was right and kept it back. After she bought the tea, I kept complementing about the tea. Well she was kind of embarrassed due to my compliment. Finally the time was over and we bid farewell and asked her to resume school. Well that day I felt awkward and I had hoped to see her next day.


27th Tuesday January 1952


Well I couldn’t write yesterday as I was very busy. As I had came back late due to helping Sakura on her school work. She had missed a whole week of lesson and I the others had volunteered to help her. I came back home late around 8pm and could only manage my class work. Same as today I had helped her in her catching up. I guess she will take at least a day or two to catch up the class schedule. After library, I treated her to candy at a shop. I could only buy 5 candies sweet as I had only a cent left after canteen break. I gave her 3 and I hurriedly took the 2 with out letting her notice me. As it is my favorite and I had it every after class. But somehow I don’t know why, she kept suckling on to one which placed it in her mouth. We had a great chat along the way and I am pretty sure we had a great time returning back home. As we were about to go our separate route, she called me and asked me to raise my palm. I didn’t know why she had asked me this, but I just obeyed her. The next thing I knew was that she had placed the candy which I had given to her. I quickly rejected it and tried to give her back, but she told me she had enough and asked me to take it. As I couldn’t persuade her anymore, I had to take it. Well than we bid farewell and walked on. As I was a few step away, I her calling me. As I was turning to reply her, the next thing was she was just a foot away and planted a kiss on my cheek. ‘Thank you’ for every thing, she said. I was dumb folded and was lost in conscious. I only regained conscious when she was a few step away. I still at daze, replied back still in the sock. Walking back I recalled the moment when she planted the kiss on me. The moment just flashes some how and I cannot stop it. Well I guess it is time to sleep and it keeps coming back. Oh god help me.


28th Wednesday January 1952


During the Canteen break, we were having food when Sam came along and asked for Sakura. Sam who is from the other class was a popular student among the school, especially the girls. Even Sakura sometimes mentioned about his charm and other so called good looking character. As they were talking, I on the other hand was getting a bit of a jealous. I hid my emotion of course. After class, as usual I was ready to go to the library to help Sakura in her class work. I went to her and asked her if she was ready to tag along with me. But she told me she had to meet Sam, and told me not to wait for her. Well since she didn’t want me to wait, I had to came back home alone. Many thought came into my mind but I tried to trust her. Well time to sleep anyway tomorrow I will ask about the event with Sam.


29th Thursday January 1952


I waited for Sakura at the usual place where we would go our separate ways home. I waited for at least 10 minute until she arrives. I greeted her and we headed to school. I tried to ask her about Sam, but I just couldn’t bring out the topic. Instead she spilled the beans instead. She told me that Sam had invited her to join the debate team. But she declined as she was too busy to do other activities. As she was saying this, my heart felt relief and my thought became more relaxed. Now I realized the whole picture and instead encouraged her, but still she declined. Instead she said “If I go than who would you spend the library hours with?” and I was like huh. I pretended that there are too many people on the list queuing up to do study together. But she just ignored my reply and said other things. Maybe she knew I was bullshitting or something else


1st Sunday February 1952


Well today Sunday and I had invited Sakura to Cray fishing down the stream. I waited for her at the outskirt of the village. While I was waiting for her I didn’t realized that I had fallen asleep. I was awakening by the cattle grazing. It was almost an hour late and Sakura hadn’t arrived. As I was about to get up from my sleep, I heard her voice. She was herding or shall I say playing with the goats. She looked so beautiful in the long dress she was wearing. I was totally lost by her beauty, until I didn’t realize that she was just in front of me. She said ‘you ok’ and passed me the goat calf. It was very adorable indeed. She was commenting all the sweet things of the calf, and I just busted out, “You may be in my tummy sooner or later” and gave out an evil grin. Sakura pinched me in my arm ant it was ohhhh… I had to beg her to stop the pinching. We were heading down the stream and were passing by a mango tree. We had to stop as the tree was full of yellowish fruits and out eyes just couldn’t be distracted. So than I decided to be a gentleman and headed to climb the tree. As I was heading towards, she shouted ‘why not use a stick instead’. As she said that, I felt like a total idiot. Not to loose my dignity, I replied that the fresher mango was hidden inside and it was better to pluck it with own hands. My mind was saying, “I will do anything, even stupid things for you”. There I was climbing halfway and I didn’t realize that ants were colonizing the tree. Ants now were biting me here and there; I tried not to make any form of resistance so as Sakura won’t notice my situation. But somehow my hand just gave away and I fell heavily on the ground. Luckily for me the fall was less than a meter high. Sakura came rushing to my aid asked if I was ok. I took the chance and pretended to faint. She was in the verge of tears and cries, when I shouted ‘got you’. She stood up and shouted at me and not to do such kind of pranks again. She asked where it hurts and massaged the area. It felt really good and I asked her for more. But she gave me a big slap at the back, which really hurts. Than she got some stick and swung at the mango tree, I can tell you she sure have good aim. I believe she had hit almost 8 to 10 piece, as it came crashing down. We picked up the mango and chose the pretty ones. We had it and it tasted very sweet especially the ripe ones. We compared our share and even exchanged to find out whose was sweeter. Well her mango was sweeter compared to mine, I guess she sure does know how to choose good ones. We headed to the stream and finally reached the stream around 20 minute later. The water was running smoothly, and we could see clearly the fishes as the water was very clean. We headed in the water and tried catching it, but the fishes would swim away in a flash. We planned to catch it at the shallow area where the fish would hide underneath the huge stones. We placed our hand underneath the rock and could feel the fish swimming. Sakura was very excited and shouted with excitement. ‘Ken I can fell it and it is very slippery’ she said. Well I managed to catch a few of them and it was just about the size of my palm. After about 30 minute, we had caught enough and placed it in the ground for it to dry. We decided to swim in the water. It was very relaxing as I submerged in the water and the fish was chewing my dead skin from my foot to my hands. Sakura was enjoying it too. I started splashing water at her jokingly. After some time she wanted to go in shore and when she was rising from the water, my mouth was wide open. She was oohh so… My eyes were glue tight by the wetness of her body. She was a bit embarrassed as I could tell when she turned her back from my view. So I pretended to make out a new conversation and dipped into the water to let her do her what ever she was planning to do. After about some time as I was still playing, Sakura had gotten out of the water and was shivering from the way it looked like. She was wrapping herself from the cold, I quickly rushed to her and placed my dry shirt over her body and she felt better. She thanked me and after sometime she was much better. I had gathered wood to lit fire to grill the fish while she had some how removed the gills and intestine of the fish. We started to grill the fish and it smelled wonderful. It was ready by the look of it. She removed the scales and passed it to me to taste it first so as to make sure it was grilled as Sakura could not take raw food. It tasted wonderful and I scooped up some to feed Sakura as she was still wrapping herself. As I had placed the scooped fish in her mouth, she closed her mouth with my finger along. Instead of taking the fish only, she bites my finger along. I shouted with pain as the pain was unbearably, but she was laughing all along with my finger in her mouth. As my finger got freed, I swing it to lessen the pain. She apologized and offered to comfort it. She placed my finger in her mouth to suckle and lessen the pain. Well I enjoyed every bit of it and pretended the pain was still there and asked her to continue. But some how she found out and bite it again, but this time with less force. I shouted I gave up and she released it. We continued to grill and we had enough. I told her to bring back some to her Grandpa. She returned me my shirt and we decided it was late enough to head back home. She thanked me and told me she would want to go out again if there was another outing.

Well I sure do want to go out with you again. But when, I am only looking for the day to come…


5th Thursday February 1952


In between the Science class, we were supposed to be pair up for an experiment. I was hoping for Sakura but I was shocked to find that she was paired up with Herry. I for sure was not happy about it. I guess the teacher had noticed how close I and Sakura were. During the experiment, my partner Dhak was doing most of the practical as I was trying to peek on Sakura. Many times our eyes met, and I could tell she was a bit uncomfortable with Herry. There was one point when Harry was abusing his power. I tried to walk towards her and to confront Herry. But she told me it was ok by giving me a body language sign. God damn finally the experiment was over and we were sitting side by side in the next lesson. It was History lesson and as we both were bored of the lesson, so we were whispered along the lesson and cracked jokes. But we were noticed by the teacher and were punished by standing outside of the class. As were walking out, the other student jeered, “Look the hen and rooster are walking out.” I had a sly grin at the class as I walked out. Once outside, Sakura was not too happy about the punishment. So I comforted her and added a joke to cheer her up. It took some time for her to land a smile on her face. We romed around the school, and didn’t even realized we were late for the next lesson. We rushed for the next lesson, but we were almost 15 minute late. So we decided to skip the lesson and headed to the library. Spent the next 4 hours in the library and came back together..

Well almost time to sleep and I have not finished the novel which I am supposed to give it to Sakura tomorrow. Today was a great experience for me, and I wish we could always be kicked out of ever lesson sometimes. Sleepy need to lye on bed…


13th Friday February 1952

Oh I have not wrote any thing for the last week, any way the rest of the days was so far so good and Sakura didn’t turn up on Tuesday. But she came back on Wednesday and said she was not feeling well and I assisted her. Yesterday we walked home together and along the way we plucked long beans from the fences of a stranger garden. But we were noticed by the stranger and chased us away. We had to run for our dear life, but It was fun. Our hands were full of long beans. We were panting and very exhausted after the run and ate on the beans. I was eating a bit faster and it somehow got stuck on my throat. I was gasping for air and Sakura gave me a tight slap at my back several times until the beans came off from my throat. Lucky for me, or else I would have suffocated. Well I had to thank her and she was all the way laughing at me and making the whole act all along. I was a of course embarrass, but I had no choice but to ignore her.


27th Friday February 1952


The last 2 week was very busy we had been doing assignment after assignment. Next week is continual exam, and Sakura and I are pretty busy preparing for the exam. We are more onto study and we have bet whoever does better, the loser will have to give a present to the winner. As the tense to do better, I am studying hard and I am hoping to win the bet. So can’t write much for the next few days.


10th Wednesday March 1952


The results was out and most of the subject, Sakura won me not only in marks but in position too. Well I was very disappointed of myself, but I felt happy as I came in second. Well I congratulated her, but instead she was more interested in what I was going to buy for her. As I didn’t know what she wanted, I asked her. But she just told me it could be anything as long as it came from the heart. Now this was the difficult part as I don’t know what she really wants. To make my situation better I approached my sister and asked her. Well my Sister Kamala told me most girls wants ranging on their type, like cosmetic, accessories, and so and so far. But as Kamala went on and on, I know Sakura was not into this type of present. So I thought very long a about it and I had a perfect gift in my mind for her. I was supposed to give her by Friday so I am going to think about the idea.

Till than maybe I will have good dream and find the right kind of present in my dream.


12th Friday March 1952


Finally class was over and Sakura all along the lesson pestered me about her present. I could feel she was very excited and so did I internally. We walked towards the library, she would try to feel the gift in my bag and I would swing it away from her hand. Once inside the library I opened my bag and slowly took out the present, her eyes were totally glued at the present. I passed it to her and now she was holding it in her hand. She thanked me and said “I know this is the best present anyone ever have given to me”, without even opening it. I was like huh.. from her response. She slowly unwrapped the present and was staring at the present. There was a silent in her, and I was thinking if she didn’t like the gift. After some seconds she screams ‘Oh Ken this is lovely, I love It.” Due to her scream, we were the centre of focus from the other students, but she didn’t care as she was more focused on the shawl that was inside the present. She unfolds it and wraps it round her head and asks “How do I look? Beautiful”! I tell her jokingly “Yes like the Pig in my Farm”. She pinches me in my arm as I giggle and so does the library student. She kept fitting the shawl and asked a lot of question of the way she looked in the shawl. I nerviously answered her as the students were staring at us every time she was questioning me. Well I can tell you the whole 3 hours of library hours were spent on the shawl and my reply. 4pm and we are heading home together and now the walking home was totally different. It wasn’t like any ordinary walk, she placed her head on my shoulder as she had the shawl on and her hands were round my arms. I was like huh whats going on from my left thought and the right side is saying oh ya baby. She talked of birds and bees and it was kind of romantic. I did not nor she wanted the path to come, where we would have to go separete ways back home but it did came. We bid goodbye and we were just walking our path, she called me. I turned to face her and there she just hands me a pack. I was like what is this and she tells me to open it at home. But I wanted to clearify but she placed her finger in my lips and asked me not to ask any more question. She was about to plant a kiss on my cheeks. As I realized what she was about to do, I purposely twisted my head so that her lips will meet my lips. The next thing was our lips was now together. She was shocked as her eyes widen wide as our lips met in a sudden flesh. She retracted some time later and was very shocked, and still. She was very embarrass as her face turned deep red and my heart was beating like a drum. We just stood there, saying nothing at all. I didn’t know what to say and so was she. I guess out instinct told us to head back home.

Well I just opened up the present and inside was a sweater with my name knitted in it. Now I realized I saw the sweater half way done when I had sneaked into her house when I had intended to visit her. She might have knitted it when she was sick and at her free time with her own hand. Wow she was a excellent knitter, as the pattern was perfectly matched. The colour white was excellent choice as I liked whit colour too. I have tried it many times and saw my reflection on the mirror, it looks excellent on me. Sure I must thank her. Thank you Sakura, you are a person with surprises and you have surprised my life by coming into my life. I will treasure your gift forever.


15th Monday March 1952

I waited at the usual place to thank her for the shirt but she didn’t turn up. I guessed she might have headed to school. But she wasn’t in school either. I had wanted to say so many things to her but she didn’t turn up. Well tomorrow I will tell her.


17th Wednesday March 1952

Finally she turned up after 2 days of absence. I asked her why she hadn’t turned up, but instead she told me to mind my own business. I felt strange but I thought may be she will be better later as her face looked pale. At canteen break I was heading towards her for break, but instead she asked Herry to accompany her. That canteen break was very bad as she was flirting with Pralhad. Worse was after class, I thanked her for the sweater. But she scolded me and told me to return back the sweater. I don’t know why she was acting this way but I came back home alone any my heart sank worse. Now looking at the sweater I feel like tearing it into pieces, but my softer side of my heart tells me not to. I dint know and I am confused. Please Sakura I hope you will be yourself tomorrow.


19th Friday March 1952

She did not come to class yesterday and today she turned up but her behavior was the same as before. Every time I approach her, she pretends as though if I don’t exist and she gives a deft ear. I don’t have the heart to write any more…God damn what has happened to you Sakura…


23rd Tuesday March 1952

Yesterday she didn’t turn up and today she did and she is still avoiding me. The rage was over when I slapped her after class when she didn’t reply me and she said something bad. It really hurt deep inside and my hand just slapped her. I didn’t mean to but it just happened so suddenly. I tried to apologize to her but she told me to go away and vowed never to see my face again. The way she said was so mean, but deep inside I felt as though she was hiding something. She ran away crying, but I couldn’t go after her as I was totally lost. I just buried my face with my hand with all the guilt. What the hell’s going on!!!!!!


14TH April 1952

Well I heard she moved out with her Grandpa to another village. And I am stopping my writing here. I don’t have the mood to write anymore.
I wish you all the best and………








07th Monday June 2008

Lying on my bed, I am drinking what was not supposed to be consuming anymore. Now I believe is the time…. already 69 years old and I am very contented for once again as I am able to write something in this diary before I leave. My granddaughter Sakura 8 years old happened to find this diary in the basement of the house somehow while she was helping her mom in spring cleaning. It was lost around 30 years back, and I haven’t been bothered to find it as I had lost hope of it and my life as well. Now out of no where it appears and I am out of words to describe my feeling for it. I flipped back the pages and it has freshen my memory of my days back than. I am feeling as though I am there now with Sakura. Those were the moment.

After I stopped writing………..
After Sakura left the village with her Grand pa around April 1952, I totally lost my life and within a year I drop out of school. I had totally lost interest in studies and I flopped my subjects. I was 14 years old and I searched her in other village but in vain. Where have I not search? So much pain and misery, I started to help my dad on the paddy field and didn’t realize how time flew. I was already 25 and my parents got worried and forced an arranged marriage for me. I had no choice but to proceed with the wedding as I did not want to disappoint my parents. My bride Dina was very pretty and caring woman, but my heart just didn’t click with her. I hid many secret from her but we stayed together. Although she accepted me as her husband, I would only pretend to accept her. I would spend the night at the field guest house most of the night. We would often quarrel, and I would walk out for days. After many heated argument with her and my parents then came a time she gave me a son followed by a daughter I was very overjoyed and raised them and loved them more than anything. Now they are both married and live their own. They married their loved ones and are very happy. My son even named his eldest daughter Sakura, as he knew my story. I had wanted to name my daughter Sakura, but my parents objected it. Than came a time when my wife of 30years, divorced me in 1993. No one can blame her as I never accepted her as a wife and she knew that all along. She couldn’t take the pretence any more and left me. I lived alone and would do odd things to survive but I was happy all along. Although my children asked me to stay with them, I declined and told them I was still strong enough to look after myself.

My horror only started when I had applied as a gardener at the local cemetery. It was around December 1994; as usual I was clearing the full grown grasses of the tombs to beautify it, when I accidentally came across a familiar name. It was Genja Rai and it struck me in the head hard. I had heard the name before but didn’t recall when. After some time I finally remembered who it was. It was Sakura Grandpa whom she had told me before. I could not believe his body was buried here all along since 1953. I cleared the mess and paid my respect and went to the second grave to do the cleaning. My biggest nightmare was just beginning, when I found Sakura tomb just a meter away from her grandpa. As I read the tomb, I realized that she had died one month after she had left school. My head was spinning and I couldn’t believe she had died at such a young age. My heart broke and tears rolled down continuously and I realized why she had moved away from their village and why she was always avoiding me. After all the lies she had told him and the sickness she was carrying, I had finally realized why she was acting this way. Tears couldn’t stop rolling and I spent the whole day at her tomb, clearing the mess and furnishing her tomb. I had wanted to die there too, but I was rescued by some grave visitor and rushed to hospital.

Realizing the truth I started to drink and smoke to comfort my sorrow heart. I would sometimes spend the night in the cemetery dead drunk talking to her tomb. But I would always respect her grave and burn incense. Now 15 years later, my livers are down and I have no regret of it. My ex-wife always comes to visit me but she goes back an empty shell as she can’t change my mind. My children tell me to look at the bright side, but nothing can change me now. I tell them, any way my time is up and god is calling me. As I lay here in my bed I know Sakura you were supposed to be with me, but fate was not on our side. Why did you not tell me of your condition? If only you had, I would have followed you than. Why all this 54 years of miserable life I had spent? You are selfish although you cared for me, but what did I get? This life is living hell, but now we shall be together and fate will not deceive us anymore. My time has arrived and when I wake up I know I will be by your side. We shall be together forever. I have told my son to place my body beside your grave and I am looking forward to it. I am coming Sakura….