910am
21st August 2012

Ramadan is over and its back to normal shift. I am off
today and will be going to the city to remit. I feel a bit
weak maybe of the 2 stick of cigarette. Have not drank
for the last 13 days. Planning to get myself some drink
for today. Need some of it after such a long time.

Other than that.. what can i say.. think i will look around
for some books to spend the time to read.

well thats it for now.

8th August 2012
1056am

here i am at my sis hostel, playing games in FB.
Well this is occupying my time for the one week
since i came back form my vacation from Nepal.
Work is at 3pm and i have plenty of time to waste
before i head for work. For now i am busy with
games..

Last night i finished the drink which i bought from
the Duty Free shop in the airport on the 31st of
July. The item that i had bought was ABSOLUTE
vodka, red wine and cigarette. Well now its finished
except for the cigarette. I hope to not drink and stop
smoking after some time to recover my body to
healthy state. Cause my vacation was too much of
drinking.. I hope to fully comply what i have written.

Thats all for now..

1240pm
26th July 2012

5 more days and i will be back in UAE. Vacation
almost coming to an end and i am gonna miss the
time in Eastern tour to my relatives places. 8th to
15th July. Its one of my best decision to travel...
I will write about it some other rime.

2008 hrs
26th June 2012

3 more days and i am going to be in Nepal. looking
forward to be there. After 2 years..

Guess nothing much to say

1039pm 2nd June 2012

June and there is like 30 more days before i will be in Nepal..
Feeling exciting as the day comes closer. Have a lot in my mind to do.
Am at work and...

My shoulder is still not recovered but its getting better. Hope it will
be back to normality...

Well thats it for now..

1851 hrs
23rd May 2012

my second day of sick leave.. many things have happened and i just
dont have the time to write due to lack of internet connection.
On 21 i had a heavy crash while playing soccer and i fractured my
left shoulder and because of that i am having sick leave. tomorrow
having an appointment with the doctor and might have sick leave
more cause its a fracture and the healing time takes long.. Cant do
nothing about it but wait for it to heal fully.. Before that been doing
gym and running for like 3 month plus.. now cause of the fracture,
again gaining weight. . All the sweat.. huh such wasted.. Vacation
just round the corner and all my plans seems like just wasting..
but i am hopeful.. hopefully,,

Next time...

0137pm
15th March 2012


there is like 23 minute before i head down to take my bus to work. So for
the mean time might as well write down something before i leave this 
room. Very fresh from the early morning as i had a breakfast of coffee
with milk and bread bun. But i smoked like almost 6 stick from the morning.
Think i have shitted like 3 times this morning.. Dont know if thats good
or bad. I am feeling alright though. 


Any way i have already applied for my vacation from 2nd July till 31 July.
Commencing work on the 1st of August. Lets see how the vacation
goes and lets see how much i can save till my vacation for my expense.


And also i have started gym and i need to be ready for my vacation.
Hope i will put in extra effort to be ready for the vacation. There is a lot
to do this vacation.


Summer is starting as i can feel the oven feeling when i went down just
now. How winter came and went and now the heat of summer going to
take its toll of  our lives. Its good at least there is 2 season if not how
anyone would survive in such heat in one seasons. 


Got to get ready as the time is 0147pm. Need to brush my teeth and
smoke before i head down.......

Just had my supper, which was Bryani with Chicken curry. And an orange.
Too full as i can feel my tummy trying to expand. Ya i did smoked a stick
too. Had bought the food from the cafeteria as i dont want to cook so late
at night. And the important part is I WENT GYM.. Ya i did and i did like
jog for 27 minute and 3.4 Km. I guess its one of my personal best time.
Cause before i did run like only 15 minute. As from now on gonna jog 
longer cause its burns the fats and gain my stamina. And also its good
my mass will not gain from the pumping. 0246hrs and its a very fresh 
14th March 2012. Waiting to shower cause as for now need to digest 
the food that i had. I know my body will ache since todays my first 
workout and i have strained some of my muscle. The pain will not come
now but after i wake up. Lets see how bad it will be. 


New life new mission is all i can say and its all in my mind the Brain.
So. guess its all that for now.. wanna shower..

0435hrs and a very fresh 12th March 2012. How time have
moved or rather shall i say, i have come so far in this ever
moving world called life of a human. How does it sounds.
Well frankly saying, its sounds good and i have just bought
my guitar from my room. I am in the kitchen now and am
listening to rod stewart "I dont wanna talk about it". Nice
song to start the day with. I had made myself tea with milk.
The open tea is such a hassel as the strainer is not good to
remove the diluted tea as the holes is bigger and i could not
remove fully the tea. I had a bit of rice and fried chicken
that my flat mate had left from yesterday.

Just played my own lyric and composition of 'Kaati Ramri'.
One of the sudden songs that i composed. Makes me real
good to play that songs. More will come later on.

Last night had 5 bottle of mini beer and it was just fine for
me as i am really fresh from it. Not like the wisky thats
gives me headache cause i over dose drink it. Ha ha.

Last month from 24 and 25 i had to spent the night at
C5-304-3 and 26 to 29 and 1and 2 march i spent the night
at Al Jaber Villa No 57 room 7. As my room mate Rudhra
wife was here and this is the reason for my...
Below is what i wrote in microsoft words in Som room.

The time is 1901hrs and i am at Som room. I am

staying at friends room from 24^th February. My

roommate wife came over and because of that i

have to find a place to stay till his wife leaves. Its

been good that i am experiencing the changing rooms.

 I don’t have the exact word for it but that all i can say

for now. Life is going smooth and don’t know what to

do for the days to come. Hopefully i can do something

as..

Need to go to shit...

Am back..Feeling refreshing after removing the....

0500hrs.. Times moving real fast and its a good thing i am
enjoying the company along with it usefully. On the 9th
cut my hair. Cutting my hair i this time cut only the side and
back and left the front and top long. Looking good as i
dont have to worry about my small head.

Just light up my 2nd cigaret. Speaking of it, i dont have much
to say about it. Just wanna enjoy it for now.

On 17th Feb went Dubai and came back with a fine and on the
7th March went to collect my card. Waste of my money...

Think today i going to spring clean my room and the kitchen
and my room. Not now but later as my room mate still sleeping.

By the way my right elbow is doing fine after i took some pills
that the doctor from the hotel perscribed me. Its amazing how
it works as i have been suffering the pain for the last 4 to 5
month. Just amazing. I took it for 2 days, one each day and i
had the comfort of normality. But once i stopped i can feel
the pain coming slightly. As of now still little pain. Lets see
how it goes today.

Just played 'Paari Ko Kanchi laai'. Did not really played that
well as i have not touched the guitar for soo long. But it still
sounded good for me.

Just cleaned the pan and set the daal to cook. Think after this
i want to clean the kitchen.. Not good to surf the internet too
long..0524hrs...

0555hrs and i just finished cleaning the kitchen. Not only that,
i washed my hansy face too. Looking too good.. ha ha..
Checked the daal.. and its cooking the water level is likr half
of the pan. Will let it cook longer..Want to smoke the 3rd...

The kitchen looking good and makes me proud that i cleaned it.
Well we like stay in clean place and we are responsible to keep
it that way. I did it.. and will always.

0616 hrs and i just thought i lost everything that i have typed
cause i accidentally pressed the close button of this site and i
am very fortunate it was saved automatically. Thank god it was
saved. So relieved...

I just put the fork and spoon on hot boiling water cause there was
cockroach in the container of the holder. And as i can tell its been
like this for a year and it disguist me of how dirty we can be.
Brushed my teeth too cause my teeth turning golden and my
breath like stale fish. Need to make sure its clean especially in
the gum area. Just switch off the boiler of the daal and the spoons.

Think need to play my guitar..

I just played my Malaysia composition and its really wonderful
to know i have composed those wonderful song. Really loving
the day going smoothly..

Just rinsed the boiled spoons and fork.. Cant believe cockroach
fossil is remained on some of the spoons. Uugh...

well thats its for now...

Valentine's Day and i spent the day cleaning the room
and made my lunch, which was also the dinner as well.
2226hrs
My room was too much of dust as i often open the
window for fresh air. That is the reason why the room
was full of dust. Food i cooked chicken, daal and rice.
Was not that good but it filled my tummy and i dont
have to worry for hunger. And i also downloaded a
movie, titled 'Meet Joe Black'. It a story about an old
rich in life man who is going to die and DEATH comes
to visit him before his time passes. And he has to
associate his life what ever he is doing. Death
eventually fall in loves with the old man daughter. And
its wonderfully romantised. Made my day a special
one to remember. Even Death cant help falling in
Love. So i am nothing compared to him. Ha ha..
I know there is someone who is waiting for me. Time
will heal and show me the way as the time comes by.

Speaking of today i found an old song 'Binti Cha Hai'.
Listening to it..Lovely song..wanna fall in love..
desperately..What to do.. its not time yet for me..
Cant write any more for this topic...

2242hrs..
so here i am,, smoked so little today and before this
i said its enough for today but after listening to this
song, i need to buy 2 more stick.. Whats this life
if i cant live like how i want to.. and truth,, i cant.. and
thats that..,Going down to buy..

It just turned 0000hrs and i am so fresh as i had a nap in
the late evening. I had finished the 1/3 of the wiskey
left from yesterday. Here i can feel having resporatory
problem as i try to expend my tummy. Too much
wisky and cigaret. Always the same excuse for me as
i realise this is what life ment for me. So for today did
nothing much as i wasted the day surfing and drinking.
Today's Valentine's Day and i feel happy listening to my
song 'Heey meri Gaaulae'. I have been having this thought
of whats the best to live my life since i am a unilateral
hearing impaired person. Life has been lonely for me as
i am starting to realise i am becoming more dumb as i
grow older. Which was supposed to be opposite. Since
i cant have a decent conversation i am lost in
communication and very deeply lost in my thought. How
can i change.. Its impossible.. I tried to get a hobby but
there is communication  involved. Fuck.. really hate it..
But i am still in sanity and thanks to this note book i am
still ok and keeps me company. Dont know what i would
have done if it was not with me. I am thankful i am still
ok. And one of the good things that i am likely,hopefully,
positively, will do is to cut down on the cigaret and
wiskey..I have to try and must i will cause i want more
wisdom. The most important thing i would love is i
want to have afamily. This i must and i need to plan for
my vacation and..........

0012hrs and 14/02/12

12.02.2012
1852hrs

I had a choice of going to city to buy Beer but i took
the other option and got my self a Napolean. Whisky
which is killing me inside. Cause its hot and it burns
inside. Been having wisky too much lately and i can
feel the effect thats giving me. Its part of me which
i cant stop and which i cant live without for the time
being. Beer is good but i have to go city, city that is
too far and the return is damn long. Its cold outside
too. So got the drink on credit and the last one i got
was on the 9th and its DR60 for the 2 bottle. Too
much drinking.. By the way i had like 8 days off of
the 2 weeks. And i have like 2 more off remaining.
Today is the 6th and 2 more days. Let me recall the
off days, 2,3,6,7,10,12,13,14 and 2 more days to go.
3rd went to dubai and 10 ramila came over here.

Today Chring came over and we had lunch together.
Had chicken rice and daal.. Since the chicken was
left over and the daal.. i just need to cook rice and
have my dinner..

well i dont have the mood to write much further..

0001 hrs
06/02/12

Feeling tired cause did jog and gym. Back to health
hopefully. Its my second day and i cant write much
as i am feeling sleepy. Any way 2 days off and need
to make use of this days. Will write about my Dubai
trip another time. And good news is that i feel better
as i am... But i know its going to be the same.....
I wont eloberate here but i really feel great as i did
not get medicine and i did gym instead and cooked
my dinner. I hope i can change from now on...

1741hrs
02 Feb 2012

I am ready to go to Dubai, except i changed the time to
9pm bus. Am supposed to meet Harka at 12am. So no
point going too early and getting bored waiting for him.
And here i am listening to music from youtube. By the
way youtube channel are giving problems after the
management changed a new concept for their site.
Always hangs up.. I am getting sick of it but i still go
to that site.

Ok i dont have much to say.. only when i come back
from Dubai...........

2256hrs
010212

Just came back from my sis room after having
dinner with her. She made spicy soup with
bean taafu with saucage after which frsh veg
is mixed in the soup. I had my full and it mixed
well with the rice. Since i was also very exhausted
from work. About work, i individually serviced
the FAHU motor belt, all 18 units. Every few unit
is located at different location and i had to open
the door to the unit. But before that i had to
walk from hotel to residence E to collect the key.
After which i started from Residence A. It was a
tough work under the sun. It was not so hot like
the summer since its still winter. But it was
tough. Finally i made it like around 1:30pm. And
made may way back to the hotel for dinner. And
after i had chosen my food, DE calls me to tell
me that P&C exhaust fan was not working. So i
left my food and told Mani to look after my food.
I had gone for almost half an hour and returned.
Thankfully Mani was waiting for me at the
cafeteria with my food. I was very thankful for
kind nature. He left after a while and i thank him
again. The food was horrible, daal and fish. The
daal was almost dried and i had a terrible time
swallowing the food. Than Munna also came and
we had our food. Than around 4 when i had to
go back to the residence, cause FAHU 2, 7 had
fault status in the BMS. Sasimahal called to tell
me that we had to attend the 702 complain. I
rushed back to hotel and as the room is big we
needed a 8 foot ladder but it had been missing
for sometime. So we decided to take the 7 foot.
As we entered the room the sound that was
coming from was a chill water line noise. We
than opened the air vent from the roof but it
was no use and we changed the actuator,
catridge, strainer. But the noise kept coming.
There was only one solution left. Which was
to open the test point. Problem was, it was too
far. Our hands could not reach the point.
Even if, it was too difficult to use the
adjustable spanner.So i told him, we will
handover to the morning shift. I left work
like 7:40pm. Any way i had to put the 2 hours
of yesterday as i left early at 11pm. The
reason was i did afternoon shift yesterday and
today i am morning. Any way tomorrow and
the other day i am off. I have planned to go
Dubai to meet Ramila. So tomorrow i will be
taking shelter at Harka accommodation. The
last time i was there, 14 people were sharing
a small room. 3 stacked layer bed with 2 
person on each bed. It was very cramped and
stuffy. Dont know how its going to be tomorrow.
My back hurting from the work that i did today.
Feeling tired and sleepy as well.Think i will call
it a day.

2257hrs
30/01/12

Just drinking a little to fall asleep. Not going to drink
too much like the other days. I know i rested too
much today and i cant sleep. Thats the reason why
i am drinking. I am not in the drunk stage. I am still
clear of what i am doing.

Just back than i checked my 2011 story and there is
no improvement till now. The same story and she's
still in my mind. Why?? i dont know the answer and
i cant change my mind. Guess i still want her. But i
dont say the right words at the right time. I know i
am going to insanity if i keep this for too long. How
can i change. And the only answer is.....

I know this is the life of a disabled person and misey
is the way to it. If only i can concentrate on other
things.

Tomorrow's afternoon shift and one more day to
Feburary.. Gonna be 34 and wiser i have to be.
I have enough of drinking and smoking. Its only
make your life better for some time and most of
the time back to square one.

I want to go for a puff.........
i am back and also top up my drink. Above i said
it and i am doing it. How ironic life can be for me..
Salary came yesterday and i had an increment of
75 which makes my basic 1575 and the service
charge was 790. Already 300 spent. 100 to
Ricardo for the drink and i bought one more for 30.
50 to Serlo for internet and 50 balance cause i did
not have enough in my wallet. The rest for my daily
necessity like toothpast, shampoo, food...............

And today i have highlighted my sentence. It was
there and now i am using it. 2317hrs and Rudhra is
sleeping peacefully and i batter not make too much
noise. Dont want to disturbe him as his work is tough.

Tomorrow might remit. Still thinking as the currency
have dropped and i dont know weather to send or not.
Lets see how..

well i guess i have to stop here,,,,,

2010hrs
28th January 2012


Just had my dinner which was maggie mee. 2 packet of
it and i added my last sukuti and some onion, garlic and
chilli. 3 chilli and now my stomach is burning like fire.
Should not have added that much and now i feel 
terrible. Work was ok. Cant believe the time went just
like that and 3 more days before Feburay starts. How 
the wonder of time moves so fast and one thing i 
realize insanity will be coming for me and i cant avoide
it. Think its part of my life story. Dont know why i know
and dont know why i am not trying to avoide it. Feel
like its written and i have to take it as a gift. 


So very bored and i gonna stop here.. 

2324hrs
27th January 2012

Cant sleep because i slept in the day and i was in bed
almost the whole day. Now i am trying to fight the
sleep thats already used. I am doing the wrong
cause its not the cycle of sleep. And i hope to fall
asleep cause tomorrow is a better day. And an early
bird catches the freshest worm....

Had to write half way as it did not published nor saved.
Half way was edited..

1937hrs
27th January 2012

waste, waste, waste is all i can say cause today's my
off and here i am thinking what have i done today.
Fucking wasted day and....
Well actually i did spring cleaning. The kitchen quite
shiny after some times. My fucking room mates aka
pig knows only how to fuck and shit. Well no point
to talk to such asss.. So i cleand and throw the 
garbage away. And for the record i have thrown the 
garbage almost 98% since this fucker moved in. 
And the other 2 fucker.. let me not talk about them.
One does not even know where to throw and the 
other THE Great ROMEO.. Too introvert.. Scared
someone will steal his girl, thats why always like a
magnet stick by his girl. Well i think i said too much
about them. As for me.. So fucking sick person..
thats what they might think of..MAybe.. i think..
Any way i also did the laundry.. For the record..
MAybe 4 times.. I mean the washing machine did 
that... And the rest of the day MOVIE.. What a waste
of the day.. Wait.. i did cook and it was wonderful.
I cooked Daal and Chicken and of course Rice.
That tasted soooo good. And it is for dinner too.
Yaamy.........

Ya i also opened up my luggage and looked through
my certificate...1948hrs

2009hrs
26th January 2012

Where and how to start my story. Its not easy to even start
the first sentance. The year 2010 around maybe September
I was into someone and.....
Well let me stop there cause i dont think it would be any
better in the structure of my story.

Today went to jog and gym and feeling fresh mentally and
physically. Had my dinner pack from the hotel
accommodation. Well for now want to read Naruto part
571. I have to wait every new week for a new eposide and
as the ending is coming i want to stop this comic thing.
Want to focus on other things. Chow for now..